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Parents Guide on How to Parent

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Parents Guide on How to Parent by Garry Mac

Parenting is seasonal and sequential and with every new season parents need to change hats. Parenting styles, ideas and tips…

No one can parent a six month old baby the way they parent a teenager. This may sound overly simplistic but it is incredible how many parents seem to suffer from lack of clarity when it comes to the season they are in and the style of parenting it demands.

The Nurse Hat

When your little bundle of joy comes home there is no chance they will steal the car, take illicit drugs, or start hanging out with a bad crowd. There is just a lot of sleeping, eating and awake time when you would like to be sleeping. This phase of parenting lays a strong foundation within a child of deep security, safety and connectedness to parents. There are a lot of tricks that can make this season a little easier but every family needs to find their own equilibrium of what works for them.

The Disciplinarian Hat

No one can deny that there is a point when a child’s own independent WILLl starts to really kick in. This is usually around the time when they start walking but it varies from child to child. This is when the real work of parenting begins in earnest.

Some kids are incredibly compliant and require very little in the way of correction in order to learn to respect and honour the authority of a parent. However, many others are incredibly WILFUL and so (like it or not) it JUST WILL be a battle of the WILLS for a few really important years. Of course parents will be wearing the Teachers Hat a lot during this season too but it is often a surprise to a lot of people how much focus must be on discipline during the toddler season. Any child who does not learn to honour and respect parental authority will ultimately struggle to honour and respect other forms of authority.

The Teacher Hat

In a world of hard core internet pornography easily streamed in high definition to a phone handset, parents need to step up and teach their kids about life early. As a child graduates out of the toddler season and into what is meant to be the innocence of childhood. The parenting hat needs to read TEACHER more than any other during this season.

Child hood is when parents can fill kids up with wisdom and understanding about what lies ahead. In the years getting closer to the teen years parenting ought to be full of discussions about what to expect as a teenager and how to handle every situation. One of the best things you can do for your child is involve them in serving the community and expose them (in measured fashion) to society fallouts.

The Coach Hat

It is very difficult to play ‘catch up’ on past seasons once a child hits puberty. If a parent fails to teach a toddler to honour authority and how to be respectful in disagreements the teen years can be tough for everyone. If parents fail to teach their kids about the real world and expose them to the real ‘fallout’ firsthand, teens can be unprepared to face the very real challenges and temptations of the season of youth.

The lead up to seasons is vital but so too is the HAT change of parenting into the teen years. Teens simply do not need their parents primarily wearing the DISCIPLINARY HAT as they face the peer pressures and insecurities of the superficial teen universe. They need the constant encouragement of a COACH who believes in them.

Teens neither need Mum and dad to be wearing the TEACHERS HAT all the time lecturing them on everything. The smart parent will understand the power of older mentors and position their teen around the right people.

The teenage years are that slow journey from childhood or dependence into independence.
It is a time when your teen can rest in the knowledge that you are there to help them succeed in life.

The Friend Hat

Hopefully in all seasons families can remain the very best of friends. However, for any parent there can be nothing greater that to see their child grow to become a functioning, mature and independent adult who they just like to spend time with. Parents need to change Hats here and let their child run their life the way they see fit and just enjoy the friendship.
Hopefully this short article might help you just a little in your parenting journey so when that time eventually comes your kids still like you.

Article can be read in full in the Go Magazine.

If you weren’t able to effectively change hats in your parenting journey and now feel guilty, struggling to know how to handle your child’s behaviour. God loves you and has made a wonderful provision to remove all your guilt and shame. Discover how in a cartoon flash presentation.

Soul Surfer Film – The Surfer Who Survived a Tiger Shark Attack

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Soul Surfer: A Thought-Provoking Film for the Whole Family By Meg Korpi and Rusty Wright

Kauai, 2003. A 14-foot tiger shark bursts through the waves and tears off 13-year-old Bethany Hamilton’s left arm. She loses 60 percent of her blood, and faces the end of her pro surfing dreams. Three months later, the unstoppable young teen is surfing competitively again.

If you’re looking for inspiration to thrive in tough times or to appreciate life more fully, Soul Surfer – the movie based on Hamilton’s brush with death and remarkable comeback – will knock your socks off. The Sony Pictures release, starring AnnaSophia Robb, Dennis Quaid, Helen Hunt, and Carrie Underwood opens across North America April 8th.

Fantastic Surfing, Tough Competition, Heart-stopping Tragedy, Strong Character

The film’s breathtaking surfing footage and heart-pounding athletic competition will entertain sports enthusiasts. But Bethany’s true story of gut-wrenching tragedy, driven character, and hard-won victory is what makes Soul Surfer worth seeing.

Pre-attack, Bethany (Robb) is a lighthearted kid and skilled surfer. (At 13, she ranked #2 among 18-and-under females in the USA.) After the attack, Bethany emerges as poised and determined, with a well-grounded spirit. Where does a 13-year-old gain the fortitude to overcome a missing limb and rebuild athletic prowess, while remaining surprisingly good-spirited?

Why This? Why Me?

After the attack, Bethany struggles with the mundane (ever try slicing a tomato with one hand?), the profound (how could God allow this?), and the young-teen weighty (will a boy ever like her with only one arm?). But in addition, as a champion surfer, driven by love of the sport, Bethany confronts the likely loss of her career: How could she possibly paddle a surfboard, one-armed, through the impact zone (roughest part of the surf), much less re-conquer championship surfing maneuvers?

I don’t need easy; I just need possible

But a love of God also drives Bethany. Her youth group leader, Sarah Hill (Underwood), helps her gain perspective after the tragedy. Gradually, Bethany learns to rely on the biblical assurance: “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ says the Lord. ‘…plans for good and not for harm, to give you a future and a hope.’”

At the film’s NYC premiere, director Sean McNamara offered insight. “Her faith was amazing, I watched her overcome adversity and [attribute it to her] faith in Jesus Christ … I’d been through years of Catholic school, but it’s different when you actually see someone walk the walk and talk the talk.”

With remarkable determination, Bethany decides to tackle surfing again. She seeks her father’s help. “It’s not going to be easy,” he cautions.

“I don’t need easy,” replies Bethany. “I just need possible.”

Inspiring Role Model

This film will not please moviegoers who expect dark drama and gore from a shark-attack film. Skeptics will likely scoff at the portrayal of Bethany’s resilience and positive attitude as too good to be true. In fact, the filmmakers appear to have toned down the real Bethany’s indomitable spirit for fear audiences would find her unbelievable. “They tried to portray her as being sad in the hospital,” Bethany’s brother Noah told us, “but she wasn’t like that. She was always upbeat.”

Good teen role models are hard to come by. Thirteen-year–olds who inspire adults to act more courageously are virtually unheard of. If you’re humble enough to accept that admirable and wise-beyond-their-years youth do exist (and we’ve met one), you could learn a lot from this movie – no matter what your age.

Soul Surfer is thought-provoking PG entertainment. The Hamilton family’s strong faith is portrayed as integral to the characters, not preachy. The shark-attack scene shouldn’t upset the squeamish. We found the movie hard to leave in the theater, and instead carried it in our heads for days, reflecting on the individuals’ choices, wisdom and character.

Some of the real Bethany’s insights are so selfless and profound they are indeed hard for the rest of us to understand. She once said,

“If I can help other people find hope in God, then that is worth losing my arm for.”

View a cartoon flash presentation and see how you too can find hope in God!

Amazing. Grace.

Meg Korpi studies character development and ethical decision-making through the Character Research Institute in Northern California. She holds a PhD from, and formerly taught at, Stanford University.

Rusty Wright is an author and lecturer who has spoken on six continents. He holds Bachelor of Science (psychology) and Master of Theology degrees from Duke and Oxford universities, respectively. www.RustyWright.com

In the Afterlife: What is Heaven really like?

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We often use the expression “It’s heaven!” when describing an ultimate experience. None of us really know exactly what Heaven is really like.  Except… Read more »

A Poem and Quote For Whenever You Feel Afraid

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Topics Covered: Fear, Fear poem and quote, Poem on fear, Fear quotes

A Poem and Quote For Whenever You Feel Afraid by Wilma Watson

No more fear of falling, driving, dying, rejection, water, commitment, intimacy or flying. Through poetry and quote, discover how the ‘fear factory’ can be closed down.
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Inner Peace When Under a Dark Cloud

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Topics Covered: Power of peace, Peace and War, Bible Peace, Peace in the World

Inner Peace When Under a Dark Cloud by Wilma Watson

What do you think about when you think of peace? Do you think of peace as freedom from turmoil and strife? The peace we are talking about does not mean that you will be in a place where there is no turmoil or strife. It’s the kind of peace that places you in a position where those things no longer affect you.

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